We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
Randomize
