Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
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