just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
