I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
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