weddingsv make me drug and hornr
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
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