Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Randomize