I met the friendliest cop last night
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
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