i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
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