I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
My vagina is very pro this idea
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Randomize
