omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
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