He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize
