On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
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