ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
