I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Randomize
