we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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