He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
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