??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
