That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
