He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
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