you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
