thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
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