everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
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