You just made me feel so damn special
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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