I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
Randomize
