my phone needs a breathalizer
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Randomize
