Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Randomize
