Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
Just pee around me
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
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