I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
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