I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
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