i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
This show inspires me to have sex in space
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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