You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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