are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
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