i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
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