I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Randomize
