Can Purell be used as lube?
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Someone signed my nipple.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
