Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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