I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
Randomize
