shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Randomize
