Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
Randomize
