smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
Randomize