i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
