I think scott just propositioned me for sex
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Randomize
