I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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