david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
