I will die if light touches me.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
