omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
Randomize
