This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
