And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
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