you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
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