i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
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