ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
Randomize
