Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
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