Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Randomize