OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
Randomize
