chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
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