how hairy? two words: wookie tits
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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