Heard at work: Get out of my face before I cuntpunch you so hard your granddaughters have miscarriages. I love my job.
I'm moving there. Get me hired.
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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