you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
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