Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Randomize
