Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
Randomize
