youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
Randomize
