I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize