just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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