I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Randomize
