just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
it's like iHOP with fire
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
