So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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