Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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