I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
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