So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Randomize
