He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Randomize
