Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Randomize
