I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
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