NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
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