I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
