Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
Randomize
