He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
