he puts the penis in happiness.
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
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